Once in a while I look and read my old posts and it always gives me this weird sense of melancholy like it reminds me of someone really familiar

and it's kinda weird that it was actually me who wrote them

a few things have changed in the last few years I fell in love got married had a kid.... i'm no longer represented by a gallery

my time isn't as infinite as it used to be my energy isn't a limitless

i'm tired a lot i actually need my 8 hrs of sleep in order for me to do my day job well then go to the studio and paint a halfway decent painting

i feel like i'm barely hanging on to my dream now my dream to be a painter an artist

i just read an old blog post of mine where i talked about selling another painting and how i was ready for new york it reminded me of wonderful it was to sell paintings almost as soon as the paint was dry

i don't know

in the meantime, i've gotten pretty good at my day job so much so that i think i can get a higher paying job if i applied for it

but that means more stress more responsibilities more time and energy

and less for my paintings

what do i do?

in the meantime, i have a family a baby to feed life would be more comfortable if i were making more money

what do i do?

if only i could make that extra money through my paintings like i used to

i think i know what i should do

i gotta make a shit load of nice paintings then start looking for galleries

simple as that i guess simple as that

right?