There's so much I want to write about...

but the more popular my site gets, the more shy i am about thinking aloud on my blog.

i feel like i may now be more scrutinized or judged

people might start commenting on my bad grammar or my run on sentences or the way i don't use capital letters at the beggining of my sentences.

it kinda sucks...

what i loved about blogging was that i could just say anything that was on my mind without too much regard to spelling, punctuation or grammar

and all i needed to care about was making sure i had an un-obstructed avenue for my free flowing thoughts...

time has gotten so precious that, if i started worrying about the rules of writing, i wouldn't feel so encouraged to write.

i guess i can always just do it in private
and not share it with the world

i don't know why that's not as fulfilling though

maybe it's because i'm really craving attention

but i think it's because i welcome any connection that is made with my thoughts

i love making connections with people
making friends
or however you may call it

i love it when i write something that seems so meaningless
but then someone from somewhere feels a connection with what i wrote
and ends up e-mailing me
telling me that they understand
and that they have felt the same way i'm feeling...

we live in such isolated worlds...
it's a dramatic statement
i know

but i do notice that many people i know,
no matter how many people they have in their lives,
seem like they live in their own isolated worlds

and

because of their busy lives
they hardly have time to connect with others

to find solace in the company of those who experience the very same emotions that they feel...

loneliness seems so prevalent here

.....

i guess this is why i blog

and it wouldn't be as important to me if i wrote my deepest thoughts and emotions only to keep them secret.

i feel like, i might as well keep it inside if there were no one else to share it with....

........

but now i have this challenge

is it possible to share myself with others, and still make sure my private to public thoughts do not hamper my progress towards being a successful artist?

if it is possible, how can i do it?

these are things i have to ponder i guess.

until i find an answer, i'm afraid i may have to quit doing this for a while...