i really wanna start painting toys again

i miss the delight that comes from it

for the most part
the toys i paint are toys i once played with
when i was a kid

these days, i yearn
for those moments
when my mind was so clear
and thoughts so few

and my imagination
ran wild as untamed horses

i'm still trying to get used to growing up
and having so many other things to think about
besides "play"

i know i should be used to it by now
but damn it, damn it

when a big part of my journey to success
is to have a strong imagination
it's damn hard to accept growing up

how do i nurture my imagination
and think of so many things
that come along with being older?

i'm afraid that someday
i might even forget how to imagine...

that's so terrible, i don't even want to think about it

my toy paintings
help me travel back to those moments
when imagination
showed me a better world
than the one i lived in

it helps me remember
the child like joy
that i need to feel
in order to love
painting

i never want to forget that joy
because i wouldn't feel alive
if i did...